It all started back in June, only a month after Meridian was born. I took the girls to our local parade which is always a highlight of my year. Typically they throw candy out at parades and this year was no different. Now I am NOT a candy person. Sure I will have a candy bar here or there, but sweets do not generally appeal to me.
That is why my addiction would almost be comical, were it not just that, an addiction. I sat on the side of the road as all the cars, firetrucks, etc. drove by throwing candy and then someone threw out this:
Yes my dear blog readers, I am addicted to Tootsie Rolls! Laugh all you want because at first I did too. That is until I realized that I was buying (or having Chris) buy big bags of them once a week. 400 Tootsie Rolls in one bag and I would take only about a week or two to go through it. Of course Chris would have some here or there, and ultimately Zoelle got some as well, but I did *gulp* eat the majority of them. At $5 a bag, it hasn't been a wise use of our money either! I have a pit in my stomach just reading that. Yuck!
Seriously, it grosses me out thinking of all the things in Tootsie Rolls that aren't good for me, yet somehow, over time, it has become an addiction. At first it was only a handful here or there, but then it evoloved to me eating them every time I was stressed or upset.
In my mind, I've tried to justify and rationalize my addiction and I've been known to say thing like, "Well, at least it's not as bad as eating a candy bar everyday!". Yet it is! It's not healthy, it's fake, and I am well...addicted! Or I have found myself saying, "I can go for weeks without any, so I'm not addicted." And while that is true, as many weeks (or sometimes a month), I'll go without any, I always come back to them when I am stressed.
As silly as it is, somehow I don't think that is where God wants me to go when I'm stressed. I know each of us struggle with our own private addictions and the best way to break them is to get them out in the open. To be held accountable for our actions. Even just writing this out has made me seriously think about the amount of nasty corn syrupy filled Tootsie Rolls I have eaten and money I have wasted!
So, I'll start...I'm Vanessa and I'm addicted to all things Tootsie Rolls!
Your Turn: Do you have an addiction that is hidden? Silly or serious? I'd love to hear about it and how you've gotten over it if you are willing to share.
As for me, I am slowly going to rid myself of my addiction. I know from past experiences, that getting rid of them cold turkey will not help. So I will slowly limit myself (with Chris' help) and get rid of them. Already, I think just writing this and reading this has made me not want to touch another Tootsie Roll ever!