Let's Talk! {Part 2-Yes, I am crazy sometimes too}

I'm currently answering your questions or blogging about the things you have asked me to post when you commented on the blog anniversary post here.

Ruth said: "I like to hear about your personal stories - what's going on in your life so I know my craziness is not alone!"

Lest you think I am normal and that you are alone Ruth, let me tell you about the day I had today (which really was yesterday since I am currently typing this at 1 in the morning).

Wednesday night hubby and I decided to finally watch The Help. Good, good movie by the way and I encourage you all to see it. We ended up talking afterward and were up until 3 a.m. This makes me a crabby mama when at 8 a.m. Zoelle is in my room asking to crawl into bed with me for a morning snuggle. Meridian was curled up next to me sleeping? nursing? I'm honestly not sure as I was pretty sleepy still. I wanted her and I to keep sleeping but Zoelle wouldn't stop talking and trying to wake us all up. Xiomara was sleeping in her pack n' play and so I finally had no choice but to awake.

I found myself on edge all.day.long. I was crabby. I screamed. I was tested to the max right after I posted about working hard to become a gentle parent (doesn't it always work that way?). Of the 4 of us who were home the entire day, Xiomara was the only one who was consistently happy.

On days like this, I tend to really look forward to nap time. I was SO counting on getting some time to play with my new Kindle Fire, relax, maybe even read a book, along with work a little on the laundry I was in the midst of doing.

Exactly how I felt yesterday!

But then came nap time and my plan fell apart right before my very eyes. Zoelle didn't nap which isn't abnormal for her nowadays. But she also didn't do a rest time. Instead she kept talking to me, begging for my attention, which makes sense being that I was crabby and she just wanted her mama back. Meridian who normally goes right down for a nap, refused to sleep. So for 2 hours I had a crabby little girl who I tried to get to nap and just wouldn't nap.

By the time it came to supper, I was exhausted, even more crabby, and ready for Chris to get home. I had no supper plans and I refused to do anything but sit with my hood up on my hooded sweatshirt and play angry birds while the kids played around me. Chris sent me a text on his way home that said, "How do tacos sound for supper?" I texted him back, "I don't care...I've had a hell of a day and I don't plan on doing anything tonight".

I can laugh at that now, but at that moment I was dead serious.

Chris came home, cooked supper, and set before me a bag of my favorite thing in the world: Tootsie Rolls.

I finished out my night slightly happier thanks to Chris and a bag of Tootsie Rolls.

So yes, I have times of craziness and no, you are not alone Ruth.

Now I am off to bed so I don't repeat the same mistake I made today.

Images via Google.

Random Updates!

So I figure it's time for a little updating in different random areas of my life. So instead of doing a whole bunch of separate posts, I thought I would put it altogether in one post titled random updates!

No, no further update on our kitchen renovation that we started back in, uh hum, August. I just asked Chris about it last night and he told me to tell all of you that as soon as he shoots a big buck, he will finish it. Oh, and that he does have everything he needs to finish it too, but again, deer hunting takes precendent! Thank goodness December 31st is coming soon!

Confession: I ran my 5K almost a month ago and besides a few things here or there, I haven't really exercised. Like my sister, I keep coming up with too many excuses or push it aside in lieu of doing something else. Unlike my sister, I do not have my dad's metabolism and breastfeeding makes me hang onto those last 10 lbs. that I am so desperate to lose. Grr!! I had every intention of starting Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred last week, I even posted that I was on facebook, but something came up and I never did. Maybe tonight I will? I figure if I blog it, you all have to hold me accountable. Remember the tootsie roll addiction? It's no more thanks to getting it out in the open! Just don't ask me about my new love of Annie's Cheddar Bunnies, ok?

I think that's it, and I must go because while I typically blog at night when all the girls are asleep , today I decided to blog during the girls naptime, except Xiomara isn't napping, she is sitting in the swing next to me and just started fussing! And in the time it took me to finish editing this and post it, I got Xiomara down. Meridian is now eating a cookie sitting on my lap pointing to the picture of the Cheddar Bunnies and asking for some. Oh and look at that, Zoelle is up! Now I remember why I never blog during the day. Besides the fact that it would take time away from them, I'd never get anything accomplished seeing it took me practically the whole nap time to type this up.

Tchau!

An Open Addiction

I have an addiction. A rather strong one too. It's so strong that even though I've been feeling for weeks now that I need to blog about it, and even listened to a Bible study about it, I have avoided doing so. Finally tonight, I blog about it in hope that once it is public, I can be held accountable for my addiction.

It all started back in June, only a month after Meridian was born. I took the girls to our local parade which is  always a highlight of my year. Typically they throw candy out at parades and this year was no different. Now I am NOT a candy person. Sure I will have a candy bar here or there, but sweets do not generally appeal to me.

That is why my addiction would almost be comical, were it not just that, an addiction. I sat on the side of the road as all the cars, firetrucks, etc. drove by throwing candy and then someone threw out this:

Yes my dear blog readers, I am addicted to Tootsie Rolls! Laugh all you want because at first I did too. That is until I realized that I was buying (or having Chris) buy big bags of them once a week. 400 Tootsie Rolls in one bag and I would take only about a week or two to go through it. Of course Chris would have some here or there, and ultimately Zoelle got some as well, but I did *gulp* eat the majority of them. At $5 a bag, it hasn't been a wise use of our money either! I have a pit in my stomach just reading that. Yuck!

Seriously, it grosses me out thinking of all the things in Tootsie Rolls that aren't good for me, yet somehow, over time, it has become an addiction. At first it was only a handful here or there, but then it evoloved to me eating them every time I was stressed or upset.

In my mind, I've tried to justify and rationalize my addiction and I've been known to say thing like, "Well, at least it's not as bad as eating a candy bar everyday!". Yet it is! It's not healthy, it's fake, and I am well...addicted! Or I have found myself saying, "I can go for weeks without any, so I'm not addicted." And while that is true, as many weeks (or sometimes a month), I'll go without any, I always come back to them when I am stressed.

As silly as it is, somehow I don't think that is where God wants me to go when I'm stressed. I know each of us struggle with our own private addictions and the best way to break them is to get them out in the open. To be held accountable for our actions. Even just writing this out has made me seriously think about the amount of nasty corn syrupy filled Tootsie Rolls I have eaten and money I have wasted!

So, I'll start...I'm Vanessa and I'm addicted to all things Tootsie Rolls!

Your Turn: Do you have an addiction that is hidden? Silly or serious? I'd love to hear about it and how you've gotten over it if you are willing to share.

As for me, I am slowly going to rid myself of my addiction. I know from past experiences, that getting rid of them cold turkey will not help. So I will slowly limit myself (with Chris' help) and get rid of them. Already, I think just writing this and reading this has made me not want to touch another Tootsie Roll ever!