Wordless Wednesday: The Love Between Two People

*More details to come

An Open Letter To My Daughters About Sisterhood

Dear Girls,

You are sisters. All each individual and unique. Being so close in age, you often get lumped together as "girls", but what I want you to know is that even if you are all girls, all sisters; you are still each "you".

It's sometimes hard as a mom to make sure I give each of you individual attention when you need it. It's hard to divide my time between you, and while there are times I succeed, there are many times that I fail.

Image Via Holly D. Photography

It is in those moments while I am nursing one of you, placing a band aid on another, that I turn and find two of you snuggled together, giggling at each other, or even at times fighting.

Lately, the fighting has been getting to be more than I like. I get frustrated and mad. I so badly want you to enjoy and love one another. To understand that being a part of a sisterhood is a rare gift. But only each one of you individually can make that decision whether or not to accept the gift of sisterhood. As badly as I want you to have it, you have to choose it for yourselves.

That gift was one that I got to experience, but it wasn't until I was older that I truly understood how precious it was. To have someone to share everything with, who makes you cry, but will cry with you. Who you go to for advice. Who loves you. Who is a best friend.

It is a rare gift and today as a mom, and as a sister, I would tell you; don't throw it away. Don't throw away the gift of sisterhood.

Don't throw it away because of jealously, because of anger, or because of hurt.

Instead accept that gift and hold it close to your heart. For as my mom always told me, "One day your dad and I won't be here, and you will only have each other". I hated that advice as a child, but as an adult, I'm realizing how true those words are. Words that I wish I would have listened to sooner.

Image Via Holly D. Photography

So now my precious girls, I can pass this wisdom on to you. Love each other, giggle, play together, whisper secrets into one another's ears, cry together, laugh, celebrate life, dance, and run together.

Enjoy this precious gift called sisterhood that your dad and I have given you. For it is rare and beautiful.


With all my love,

Mama

Wordless Wednesday: My India is 2

A Bit of a Break

Late last night we got home from a 4 day camping trip. It is our very first one of the summer, with many more to come. Have I mentioned before how much I love summer? Because I do, and camping is just one of those reasons.

Zoelle loved the monkey bars at the campground playground.

 As the girls get older, camping has become much easier. In fact on this trip, with the exception of one night where Xiomara was up for a few hours wanting to play with me, the girls all slept great. The hardest part of camping trips is trying to fit in naps. Zoelle pretty much doesn’t nap anymore, but the other girls do. Since we have a Pop Up Camper, it is a bit hard to get Meridian to nap. So this weekend, I didn’t even attempt to try, and instead let her take a rest time or play quietly during nap. Xiomara did nap, but they were short because the camper is a bit brighter and louder in there than her typical bedroom. The girls end up being a bit more tired than usual because of missed naps and staying up later. But it is all worth it for the experience of camping and building up another block of family memories.

Proud auntie Nessa with my niece India

This trip included my parents, younger siblings, and older sister’s family. We also got to see some extended family including my Grandma which is bittersweet since my Grandpa’s passing. It just doesn’t ever seem the same without him.

On our way home, we decided to visit the Minnesota Zoo. Maybe a bad idea for an 80 degree, bright sunny day, but hey, we are trying to build up more family memories. J While it was extremely crowded, I am so glad that we went! The animals have huge enclosures, so you don’t get to see them up close very often, but the Minnesota Zoo has a wonderful indoor area, and those animals tend to be more up close and personal. I also found the long walks outside to be beautiful and relaxing. The girls had a favorite part though that had nothing to do with animals. That would be the splash pad! If I had to do it over again, I would spend a lot more time there. We wanted to ride the monorail, so we hurried at the splash pad, but it ended up that the monorail was a bit boring, and not really worth our time or money. So next time, I would definitely spend more time at the splash pad.

Meridian the fish!

In my almost 3 years of blogging, I have never once taken a blogging break/Internet break, etc. However, with no Internet at home, I had no choice. Outside of a few quick log ins at my parents, or free Wi-Fi in town, or the little bit I can do on my phone, I have been Internet free for over 3 weeks now. In fact, even my blog posts are written in Microsoft Word ahead of time, and then I just quickly upload them when I find Internet access and then I’m on my way. This “break” has been different for me. It has been some of the most enjoyable times with my girls and our family. I find that I don’t really miss Internet at all. The only reason I say it has been different is that at the same time we have no Internet, I have also had next to no cell phone reception, no cable TV (which we have never had anyway), and we moved 10 miles out in the country. It feels different for me to be this disconnected from the world around me. However, this weekend, while staring at my three girls, I realized, this is the world around me. Our family is all that truly matters to me and that these three weeks have been incredibly sweet for me and I hope for them as well. We did manage to find a cell phone company who provides great reliable service and the plan is to possibly get Internet within the next few weeks. However, my plan is to stay as disconnected as possible. For some time before moving, I felt God telling me to put my computer away, and to focus on them. However, I kept finding myself telling them and myself, “Just one more minute”, yet that minute would turn into 5, and that 5 minutes, into a half hour. Before I knew it, I just wasted an hour of my time on something that doesn’t matter.

So here I am blogging out how a simple camping trip and zoo visit reminded me once again on how family is all that matters in life. How this is the only time they will be 5, 3, and 1 and I don’t want to miss it. So please, do me a favor and hold me accountable ok? I still plan on blogging as most of that is done at night when everyone is in bed. I just don’t plan on spending as much time reading and researching other blogs, news story, etc. Because when it is all said and done, these girls aren’t worth missing.

Have you ever felt it was time to take an Internet break? Blogging break? What caused you to realize that?

Our Easter Celebration

Since we are busy preparing to move, Easter and the fact that it was here, was sort of a disconnect for me this year. It wasn't until Saturday night that I remembered I never even decorated our house with Easter decorations! That was after I spent Saturday afternoon rummaging through our tubs of clothes and shoes to make sure the girls all had outfits and shoes they could wear! Luckily, outside of a quick trip to Target for shoes, they all had a complete outfit! Normally I am ultra organized, but with moving, I feel as if my brain is in one mode.

I did however, remember to let the girls dye Easter eggs. Xiomara was napping through most of it, but managed to wake up for the last few eggs.

Sunday, I managed to get all three girls dressed up and tried my hardest to get the picture of all three of them smiling at the camera. After looking through all my options, I'm wondering how my fellow mom friends on Facebook have managed to get these adorable photos of all their children perfectly lined up, sitting still, and smiling? Our family picture is even worse! But that one I won't bother to share!

Following church we went to my parent's house. All my siblings were there except one brother, my sister Tiffanie and my niece Natasha. Auntie Genevieve even got to hold Xiomara until she fell asleep for her afternoon nap. I also got to see my darling little niece India!

We ate lots of food, had lots of laughs, and some great conversation! All in all, it was a great weekend and a wonderful distraction to the overwhelming thoughts of packing! For now, it's back to boxes!

Did you enjoy your Easter?

Wordless Wednesday: Blessed to be a big sister

India Has A Message

Chris was out of town last week with my dad, brother-in-law, and some other friends for three days. In order to have a bit of a break from watching three kids all day by myself, my sister suggested we go to my parents and help my mom organize her boxes of photos from when we were younger (a Christmas gift we had promised her).

It was the perfect distraction for both myself and the girls. Plus they got to spend time with some of their aunts and uncle, and I got to spend time with my niece India. It's been awhile since I've shared about my cute niece. Since spending two days straight with her, all I can think of is her sweet little voice and how she says, "Ok", "Nessa", "Outside", and "Sorry". Trust me it is adorable!! Since you can't hear her voice through my blog, I thought I would share a few pictures of her.

Make sure you pay attention as she has a certain message she wants to share with my blog readers.

Yep, India is going to be a big sister this summer and she is pretty excited about it! My sister, who seemingly has pregnancies very similar to mine, is finally feeling a bit better. I am thrilled to be welcoming either my third little niece, or perhaps my very first nephew!

And India? Well all she can talk about is babies, but for this day, she had enough! :)

30 Things I Love About My Big Sister On Her 30th Birthday

My big sister turns 30 today. I've been wanting to write this post to her for a long time, but every time I sit down to write it, I get teary and my brain locks up just thinking of so many memories with her. I'm truly not sure I can communicate with words how much I love and appreciate her. I'm trying my best though with 30 things I love about her.

1. You make me laugh. You have since day one I'm pretty sure and I love that!
2. You have stood up for me even when no one else around me did.
3. You may be just as crazy, strange, odd, and effervescent as I am! ;)
4. My favorite memories are when we made up a "knocking code" between our rooms. I would look forward to hearing your knock each night.
5. Of course memories of hiking in the woods/fields, and swimming together are at the front of my mind as well.
6. I have looked up to you my whole life and I'm proud of it. You are a pretty amazing person to look up to.
7. You are just as beautiful on the inside as on the outside.
8. You gave me my precious niece India.
9. You are very crafty. There really is not a thing you can't do.
10. I LOVE when we sing together. Pretty sure our voices were meant to perfectly harmonize.
11. You are always creative. Whenever I need an idea on something, I go to you.
12. It has been so much fun to be mommies together with our little girls. Something I will cherish forever.
13. I love listening to you play piano and sing.
14. Your endurance to stay healthy/exercise has pushed me to do the same in my life.
15. You ran a 5K alongside me to encourage me, with a babe strapped on you...pretty awesome if you ask me! :)
16. You love my girls as if they are your own. This makes me cry (in a good way).
17. The love and compassion you have for people is incredible!
18. You are an example to me of showing love to everyone no matter what and not judging.
19. I know that no matter what, I can always trust you.
20. You married Dallas, who is a perfect guy for you and a pretty awesome brother-in-law.
21. You have challenged my thinking on many things. Challenge is good.
22. I have learned so much spiritually from you.
23. You are a great writer. I've learned a lot from your blog this year.
24. You encourage me constantly whether you know it or not.
25. I love your enthusiasm for life! It is contagious!
26. You are always the life of the party!
27. You love India with everything in you and I've been so proud to watch you be mama to her. You do a beautiful job!
28. You make a perfect big sister to 12!
29. You give of yourself freely.
30. I love that you are my big sister!

I love you Genevieve! Have an amazing birthday!! By the way, I'm glad you turn 30 before me so you can tell me what it is like! ;)

Meet my new niece Natasha

I became an auntie again on September 1st! My next youngest sister gave birth to a beautiful little girl named Natasha. Yes, that makes 5 granddaughters for my parents. No grandsons..yet!

Since my sister lives in a different state than I do, I have yet to actually meet my niece and hold her. Thank goodness for technology because I have been texted pics and we plan on a Skype conversation today so I can say "hi" to her for the first time ever! Even though I haven't officially met her, I still feel this incredible love for her, the same as I felt the first time I became an aunt.

I'm looking forward to a lifetime with her and spoiling her like crazy! :)

Do you live in the same state as your nieces and nephews? If you don't, how do you keep in touch?

Wordless Wednesday: Holding Hands

Zoelle with her Great Grandma Josephine (my Grandma) and her Aunt Sabrina (my youngest sister).

Go Green-Cloth Diaper! {Happy Earth Day}

Today is Earth Day and in celebration of that, I am doing my first ever post on cloth diapering! I've mentioned it a time or two in a post, but I've never outright devoted a whole post to cloth diapers.

As I mentioned in my blog party post, I never dreamed I would cloth diaper my girls. During my pregnancy with Zoelle, my sister talked about cloth diapering quite a bit and asked if I had ever considered using them on my unborn baby. I think at that point I really thought she was a hippie and had gone all out! Cloth diapers? Umm..no way! There was a reason someone brilliant created disposables and I intended to use them! She even gave me an article on how disposables could possibly harm reproductivity for the child in the future, but I ignored her. Fast forward seven months and my precious little baby girl Zoelle was having blowout diapers on every diaper!! I was absolutely sick of changing not only a diaper, but her clothes as well. I had several friends online who cloth diapered and really encouraged me to give them a try. At this point, I was becoming more open to the idea so I hesitantly approached Chris. I'm not going to lie, he was not thrilled but gave me the ok as long as I didn't spend a ton of money.

Zoelle at 8 months in a Goodmama

If I remember correctly, I started out with a few sample packs of several different types of cloth diapers. I have tried pockets, AIO's, prefolds, fitteds, and one hybrid diaper. I quickly learned that cloth diapering can be addictive. Yes you read that correctly. Until you've ever tried it I don't think you'll believe me, but it is so much fun to try all these different types of diapers and the most beautiful designs as well. Don't even get me started on wool! I've always said that if I could, I would cloth diaper exclusively with fitteds and wool.

My cloth diaper stash then (and I actually don't think this was all of it)!

For us, we chose to stick with mainly AIO's. We have a dozen Bum Genius Organic Diapers. I bought those for Zoelle and almost 3 years later, they are still holding up quite well. For Xiomara, I have a dozen Bum Genius All-in-Ones. I don't use the organics on Xiomara because she is so tiny and I like the fit of the regular all-in-one better on her. When I first started out cloth diapering, Goodmama Fitteds were the rage and I got pretty sucked in. At one point I had probably at least 2 dozen Goodmamas. Now I have paired my stash of Goodmamas down to about a dozen. We mainly use those in the summer, coverless under dresses. I do have a few random pocket diapers, and a Bum Genius Flip.

While I originally started out cloth diapering because I was sick of disposables, it quickly changed for me to a variety of reasons. One of the main reasons was I was disgusted with how much of our trash was diapers. I cannot even begin to imagine the amount of trash we would make now with two in diapers had I not been cloth diapering today. I really feel as a Christian that part of my job is to honor the beauty of what God has given us here on Earth. With cloth diapering, I feel like I am taking a small step to do that.

How do you "go green"? Do you celebrate Earth Day in a special way?

*Tips on cloth diapering to come in a future post!*

I love her {On being an auntie}

Sigh....I love this little girl. Seriously. Outside of my three girls, this girl has captured my heart. For those new around here, she is my niece India. She was born on the exact same day that we adopted Xiomara. I cried buckets of tears over not being able to see her right away. My only sliver of relief was the thought of knowing I had a whole lifetime with her. So as the completely enamored auntie, let me tell you a bit about her.

She is funny! She definitely has quite a bit of her mommy in her funny little personality. I've been able to watch her the last two afternoons while my sister worked, and I could not stop laughing. It reminds me of being with my own sister. :)

She is smart! India doesn't want to miss a thing. Every little noise or movement made, she would get this adorable look on her face as if to figure out what exactly was going on.

She has to be the easiest baby I have ever watched! And I've watched a lot. While she is VERY busy and moves non-stop, she never cries. She always has a smile on her face and she is easily entertained. Oh, and did I mention she is beautiful?

India girl, I love you! I hope you always know how much your Auntie Nessa loves you and would do anything for you. I can't wait to see the amazing things God is going to do in your life because you truly are an incredible little girl.

Caputuring the Little Things

I'm working on my photography and working on capturing the little things. Things like Xiomara's little pout as she played outside in the snow for the very first time.

Or how Meridian has a bit of mad scientist hair in this picture, while Xiomara refuses to look anywhere else but at mama.

Lastly, how Zoelle is trying to feed Xiomara an apple here and how I have a picture stored somwhere of my sister trying to do the exact same thing to me.

It's the little things that matter the most in life and I'm working on capturing them.

Random Updates!

So I figure it's time for a little updating in different random areas of my life. So instead of doing a whole bunch of separate posts, I thought I would put it altogether in one post titled random updates!

No, no further update on our kitchen renovation that we started back in, uh hum, August. I just asked Chris about it last night and he told me to tell all of you that as soon as he shoots a big buck, he will finish it. Oh, and that he does have everything he needs to finish it too, but again, deer hunting takes precendent! Thank goodness December 31st is coming soon!

Confession: I ran my 5K almost a month ago and besides a few things here or there, I haven't really exercised. Like my sister, I keep coming up with too many excuses or push it aside in lieu of doing something else. Unlike my sister, I do not have my dad's metabolism and breastfeeding makes me hang onto those last 10 lbs. that I am so desperate to lose. Grr!! I had every intention of starting Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred last week, I even posted that I was on facebook, but something came up and I never did. Maybe tonight I will? I figure if I blog it, you all have to hold me accountable. Remember the tootsie roll addiction? It's no more thanks to getting it out in the open! Just don't ask me about my new love of Annie's Cheddar Bunnies, ok?

I think that's it, and I must go because while I typically blog at night when all the girls are asleep , today I decided to blog during the girls naptime, except Xiomara isn't napping, she is sitting in the swing next to me and just started fussing! And in the time it took me to finish editing this and post it, I got Xiomara down. Meridian is now eating a cookie sitting on my lap pointing to the picture of the Cheddar Bunnies and asking for some. Oh and look at that, Zoelle is up! Now I remember why I never blog during the day. Besides the fact that it would take time away from them, I'd never get anything accomplished seeing it took me practically the whole nap time to type this up.

Tchau!

I did it! Ran my first 5K!

Last night the reality of what I was about to do hit me full force. I Vanessa, a formally non-runner, was about to run my first 5K. 5K! 3.1 miles! Wow! What was I thinking? I don't think I was! And so the butterfly flutters in my tummy started, yet I was also excited to get out there and run.

I woke up in a panic at 8:15 this morning and quickly realized that Chris had shut off my alarm clock in his sleepy haze. I'm immune to alarm clocks, but that is a different post altogether. I had to help get all three girls ready, eat some breakfast, and get ready myself. It started at 9:30 a.m. I got there at 9:15 a.m. Next time I run a 5K, I plan on being on time. Running a bit late, left me a bit nervous.

It was so very cold this morning. Colder than either Tara, my running partner, and I had ever run in. This morning my thermometer showed 16 degrees. Brrr!!! I added a few extra layers because of it.

Before I had time to even think, we were waiting at the start with over a hundred other racers. Then, with a blow of a whistle, we were off. Up until today I had been used to doing a 5 minute warm-up walk, then a 30 minute run, followed by at 5 minute cool-down walk. When Tara decided to start out running, I decided I would too.

It was different for me from the get-go to run with other people, and in such cold weather. While my body stayed warm and I never felt cold during the run, my muscles did. They literally felt stiff from the cold. I also felt the cold in my lungs. Trying to get a big breath left me, well breathless. No matter what I did, I couldn't get a big breath of air.

It wasn't very long into it that I looked down and saw my left shoe had come untied. So I stopped, with frozen fingers to re-tie it. I kept on for a bit more before my body screamed at me to walk a bit. I tried not to walk too much as I didn't want my body cooling down at all. I walked a bit, then ran a bit, walked, ran. Then when I rounded the corner at where I thought would be the half way mark, I decided to start running full time again.

It was at that point, that I saw my hubby and three little girls waiting for me and cheering me on right before a big hill. Hearing Zoelle's little voice yell, "Go mommy, go!" helped spur me on up the hill. Up over the hill I went and ran for quite a long ways. Somwhere at the top of that hill, my podcast marked that I was half way. I was thrilled because that meant I had gone farther than I ever had before on a practice run. It was when I came to the next hill that I decided in my mind I would walk. However, when I turned the corner to walk, there was my sister and little niece India spurring me on. They ran with me up over the hill and kept me going at a time in which I thought I would walk. I continued on my own until the next hill, in which I did walk. Once I got up it though, I knew I could run and run I did.

Note: This was taken before the run, but it shows my sister with India in her sling

Coming into the last stretch was a slight uphill run. I was tired, my muscles ached from the cold, and I honestly wanted to give up and walk it. It was my plan until again, there was my sister who was wearing India and ran along side me. I thought if she can do this with India on her, I can do this by myself.

When I turned the last corner and saw the finish line I said, "Thank the Lord"! I had intended to sprint toward the finish line, but my body was so stiff it just wouldn't, so I ran it in as Zoelle came along side me and ran too.

The lady at the finish shouted "37:01" and I felt relief. Joy. Pride. I, Vanessa, a former non-runner, had run the 5K. Faster than I ever thought I could do it. I didn't place obviously, but I also didn't finish last. Instead I was somewhere in the middle of the pack at 68. Outside of giving birth to Meridian naturally, I don't think I have ever been so happy or proud. Nine weeks of work paid off. It was well worth it!

My only regret was that I walked little sections of it at the beginning. If I could do it again, I would say that I wish I would have pushed a little harder and made myself run. However, I am not going to live with regret, but instead look forward to Spring in which I plan on running another 5K, in warm weather and improve my time by hopefully a little bit!