I never once struggled with you, not until after childbirth. But I also never gloried in you. I was insecure, covered you up, was worried I was "too fat", didn't have big enough boobs, tiny enough hips, and the list could go on.
I look back at those high school pictures of me and realize how untrue that was. I was thin, I had beautiful hips that would later aid in birthing my babies, my thighs were small. I look back now and regret not rejoicing in the body God gave me, regret not wearing more bikinis, regret not thinking I was a perfect size.
I am learning to learn from my mistakes. I promised myself that I would not have regrets and insecurities now. After giving birth to two beautiful girls, gaining extra weight in 9 months times two, breastfeeding for 5+ years straight, opening my arms to the beauty of adoption. I promised I wouldn't go through my 20's hating you, only to look back in my 30's wishing I had not.
|Image Via: The Blue Porch|
So here I am today, 28 year old body and all. Sometimes still wishing I had that 18 year old body. But mostly, learning to love what you have done. But also learning how to take care of it now. I work you hard with either daily walks or exercise. I revel in the feel of my legs getting stronger, my tummy getting more taut. I am determined that by 30, I will once again wear that bikini and wear it proudly. Sure I may have a few silvery marks around my belly button and on my upper thighs, but I will be beautiful.
Just as I am beautiful now. My breasts providing nourishment and comfort, my soft tummy providing a resting place for girls who long to know they are loved. My arms wrapped perfectly around my husband as my mess of curly hair tumbles down on my shoulders. Oh body, you fit so perfectly with his! And in my deep, dark, brown eyes, you can see a window to my heart. A heart that loves deeply, hurts easily, and longs to be loved in return.
Dear body, I think, after all these years, I'm finally learning to love you.
I'm linking up with SheLoves Magazine to celebrate our bodies just as they are. Feel free to write your own love letter to your body.