Friday, February 24, 2012

Pink vs. Blue: A Look At How Society Shapes Gender Roles

As Xiomara approaches the age of two, I have been having more and more people ask me a question that rather disappoints me, and if I'm honest, angers me.

"Don't you want to try for another so you can have a little boy?"

I know mamas of all boys get this question in regards to trying for a girl, but I feel like the pressure to have a boy is a lot higher, especially in Christian circles. Somehow we have, as a society, elevated boys to a status that is higher than girls.

It's as if society is asking the question of, "Don't you want to carry on your family name through a son?" To which I reply, "Can my daughter not carry on that name? What if she doesn't ever marry? What if she decides to marry and keep her same last name? Does a last name really matter? Her name is still being carried on in society through her or her children whether or not she changes her last name!"

Thus I get a little angry when people ask me right in front of my girls if we will try for a boy. The girls may not understand fully now what it means, but it won't take long before my girls are getting the point: boys are more important than girls.

And when we as a society start valuing one sex as more important than the other, we have lost out on God's design for both boys and girls. Thus placing a cloak on young boys, who will one day grow up to be men who have been told their whole lives they are better and more important than women. Which in turn, starts the vicious cycle all over again.

Girls are told and taught from a young age that that their cuteness will get them what they want, and that they don't have to be as smart as boys because "that's just how it is, boys are naturally smarter than girls."  As they age, society and social media turns them into a sex symbol, one who is told that they are worthless outside of how they look and dress.

It has never become clearer to me how far society has come then when my friend Heidi shared this video on Facebook. It is almost 9 minutes long but it is worth every minute of watching. I urge you to watch it. For your daughter, your niece, your granddaughter, your friend, the neighbor girl next door. It is worth it. Please be aware that this video does feature graphic sexual pictures so it should not be watched around children.

Call me a feminist (and maybe I am a little), but I want my girls to have the same rights as others; male or female. I want them to have the freedom to be a doctor, a scientist, a mom, a missionary, a politician. I don't want society stopping them.

So please stop asking me or telling me to have a son. Rather uplift my girls now for who they are on the inside, so they can grow up to be the person God intended them to be.


  1. I *still* get asked, "Don't you WANT a girl?" My youngest is SIX, we're done having children and I'm perfectly fine with what God gave me :)

    1. Yep, exactly Salena!! That is what Chris and I always say too, we just love exactly what God has given us no matter what.


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