Tuesday, August 17, 2010

A busy adventure

This is new territory to me. Three girls, three and under. They giggle, they cry, they all want mama, they snuggle, they sleep, and then they don't. It's fun, it's exhausting, and it's busy! But, not that busy!

When I had Zoelle, everyone couldn't seem to wait to ask me when we would have another. It's a funny thing, but I thought two years apart in age were normal, that is until I had Meridian. I remember people sort of giving me this look that was almost sympathetic for having two so close in age. Now though that I have a three year old, a 14 month old, and a one month old people no longer have sympathy for me, instead they pity me. And it bothers me. I go out to Target or even church and I get all sorts of looks from people when they see all three. Then the comments come. "Oh honey, I am SO glad that is you and not me", "Aren't you a busy mama?", "Oh my, how old are they?", "And all girls" "I bet your husband was disappointed he didn't get a boy", "Will you try one more time for a boy".

*Does he look like a man desperate for boys? I think not!

Really people, I'm not sure how you want me to answer you?? Sometimes I want to be just as rude to you as you have been towards me. Sometimes, I just laugh and nod my head. But most of the time, it just makes me sad. When has life changed to you, a complete stranger telling me I have too many children, too close in age? You are not me, you are not in my life each day. You do not know me or my family. And you pity me, but I say don't pity me. I am enjoying this. Instead be envious of me and this life I have. For it is rich. I get to snuggle three little girls, give them kisses on their owies, bath them, change dirty diapers times two, nurse seemingly around the clock, and get very little sleep some nights. Oh sure, I have my "bad days" like today when all three were crying and nothing seemed to get done. I sometimes look with envy at the couples who have no children or only one and slightly wish we could go back in time and enjoy it all over again. However for the most part I am blessed. Blessed to raise these three girls with the man of my dreams, blessed to be on this wild, crazy, and yes busy adventure.

So don't pity me, don't roll your eyes, pat my arm and tell me you are thankful it's not you; for if you do, I might just tell you that I'm thankful it's not you either. Or I might be kind and invite you to observe us through our busyness and you will perhaps see that we are just like you, but just well...umm busier. But a good busier. One full of laughter, tears, and love!


  1. *applauding*

    Love this. I get many comments and looks as well. I just try to have, what our college pastor's wife encouraged me, thicker skin and a softer heart. And I pray to answer those unkind, unsolicited comments with grace that will point those folks towards Truth. :)

    Hugs to you!

  2. O Vanessa this is so funny because you would not believe the flak I get from people for spacing my kids, much less thinking of only have one kid! I have gotten so many comments about not having them too far apart. I guess you just can't win :)

  3. Vanessa...for those that don't know you it is just their way of communicating with you because they don't know if it was planned or not, nor do they know any of your circumstances. I would bet you flash them your beautiful smile every time! Our last two are 14 months apart, so I know a little of what you are going through. Keep your chin up, you are a fabulous Mommy & are very blessed!

  4. Lauren-You are so gracious, kind, and sweet Lauren. I pray I can respond more like you because many times I want to do just the opposite. ;)

    Rachel-I think it is so funny, but you are right, you just can't win either way. I guess everyone has their opinion on something no matter what it is. Makes life interesting that is for sure! :)

    Kayla-You are far too kind. I have been flashing them my smile, but my heart hasn't always been pure in it. It's so good to see a different point of view and to remember that some may honestly just be curious and not mean anything by it! Thanks for the sweet reminder! :)

  5. Good for you for enjoying your life...and being proud of it. :)

    Even w/ two, I often have people say, "You have your hands full!" when I go grocery shopping. I always smile widely back and say, "Full of good things" OR "I wouldn't have it any other way."

  6. Stephanie, I had a few comments with just two, but it was when we had our third that the comments really started. I love your responses! I'll have to keep in mind those positive ones as I always tend to want to be negative!


Feel free to share any jewels or treasures in your comments to me. :)