Saturday, March 6, 2010

I want my husband back!

Sigh...I am angry, frustrated, and sad tonight. I want my husband back! Each night we pretty much go through the same routine with the girls. Bath (if it is a bath night), brush teeth, pajamas, some nights we read one story, we always sing four songs, and then we say two prayers (yes two, Zoelle has to say one and we say the other according to her). Anyway, then Zoelle hops into her bed, calms down pretty much right away and goes to sleep. Which leaves us with Meridian. I love Meridian, but man am I frustrated with her and her sleep!

I nurse her before bed and then typically go downstairs and leave her with Chris while I either blog or workout. Chris ends up rocking her anywhere from 5 minutes to tonight an hour and a half and he is still up there! Yes you read that right! I want him back! Seriously, we had a movie all planned out tonight, but instead I am all mad down here and frustrated that he isn't with me but instead working with her to sleep.

I don't know what to do. I am typically anti-cio (cry it out) but at this point, it is hurting our time together and so I am ready to cave. I'm in tears as I so want her to go to sleep like her older sister always did as a baby. Instead I struggle all day to get her to nap (as she still only sleeps in her car seat or my arms for a nap) and then struggle at night to get her to go to sleep. Once she is asleep, she is pretty good. Once again, it's just getting her there takes hours (up down, up down) some nights.

I feel like we have tried everything, but it is all to no avail. I'm asking my blog readers for prayers first of all, and secondly for any advice you can give me. I will be honest and tell you that the crying it out approach is really not me, but I am open to hearing anything at this point.


Sleepless in Jewels & Treasures


  1. O I feel your pain! I am somewhat anti-cio, but we have done it to some extent with Remy out of desperation. The longest I have ever let him cry is 10 minutes (when I was desperate) but usually all it takes is 5 minutes. Since I am sure you have a routine with Meridian she will understand quickly. Remy did at least. They say it takes 3 days for a new routine to set in for a baby so just give it a try for 3 days. You can still comfort her without holding her too, just go in and rub her tummy, give her a nook or whatever. I am definitely anti letting them cry for hours or until they throw up, I know some people have done that. But letting them fuss for a few minutes to put themselves to sleep is ok, I think. Just don't do anything you are uncomfortable with!

  2. Thanks Rachel for your support! I know you have been there with Remy. We tried a bit of a modified crying it out about a month ago and it didn't go so well. Of course, she was teething at the time and had a bit of a cold. Oddly enough, she has both of that right now too, thus why she probably fought sleep so hard last night. However, she seems to always have a running nose, or getting teeth. So I don't know if I just go ahead and do it anyway or not? this point I feel as if she is never going to sleep. I keep just praying that she will mature and do it on her own, but in the meantime, this is hard.

  3. I know this is hard for you. :/ I'm not sure I have any answers for you. Honestly, we have done CIO with both our children so far, and I'm sure we'll do it again. It can be tough, but I jest that the Lord prepared my heart to have children that cry a lot. :) WM had GERD and literally screamed every waking moment for the first 6 months of his life. LL had colic and allergies, and screamed for about 6 weeks. Even now, they're both intensely emotional kids, and I have to keep my cool when they start to melt down over seemingly NOTHING, which - I'm not even joking - happens with each of them several times a day.

    So by the time it came time to sleep train (once all real health issues had been resolved), if I knew that their diapers were clean, their tummies weren't hungry, and they were safe and warm, it may sound cruel to some people, but it just didn't break my heart to hear them cry anymore.

    I am an anomaly in this, I know. ;)

    CIO doesn't have to be the way many people envision it. I actually read a truly heartbreakingly sad blog/article about CIO several months ago. It presented a view of CIO that was cruel to bordering on abuse, and seriously, if that's what I thought CIO was, then I would be opposed to it, too!

    I know CIO isn't for everyone, but I just wanted to share with you that sleep training via CIO has been a very positive experience for us. Have you heard of the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth? It's an excellent resource, and he lays out several different ways to approach sleep training, from total extinction CIO to even a no-cry method. Maybe you could get some great insights and tips that fall somewhere along your comfort spectrum there. :D

    And, for what it's worth, as soon as we sleep-trained our kids to fall asleep on their own, all their sleep periods (naps and overnights) improved in quality and duration. And we can put them down for naps just about ANYwhere (helpful when traveling), and just about anyONE can put them down (helpful when they stay with grandparents so Hubby and I can have some couple time).

    I hope you guys can get it figured out in a way that works for ALL of you! :)

  4. Lauren, I was so hoping you would chime in because I know from reading on the PR that you have done CIO. I also value you and your friendship and respect your opinions. :)

    I have heard and read that book back when Zoelle was little. I'll have to go check it out again at our library. I have a hard time envisioning me doing CIO only because I hate to hear the girls cry, but if it is hurting our marriage, I'm not sure what else to do. Who knows, maybe she wouldn't even cry much?

    I am so hoping that once she starts sleeping better, all sleep times will go better. Keep praying for us! And thank you for chiming in!


Feel free to share any jewels or treasures in your comments to me. :)